jack-sparrow: oh right. the poison. the poison for kuzco. the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco. kuzco’s poison.
I am now going to name every member of One Direction! Harry. …There’s four other...– yesterday my best friend, Stephie, talked about one direction for a very long time completely unprompted even though she is indifferent to them as a group and i managed to type it all out on my phone. also she was really drunk. also i want this tattooed on my face. (via onedirectionstraighttohell)
parents: OH MY GOD YOU NEED AN EXTREME ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT I'M THE PARENT YOU'RE THE CHILD THAT'S HOW THIS WORKS I DONT KNOW WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL DO YOU LIKE HAVING NICE THINGS DO YOU LIKE HAVING A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD THEN START APPRECIATING IT AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM WASH THE WINDOWS LICK THE DIRT OFF THE KITCHEN FLOOR DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MAID NO
thank god I had the quadratic equation to calculate the parabola of the ball I...– no one (via weareallgettingby)
paynefullygay: I wish I could go back in time to the exact moment right before i clicked on my first video of one direction singing and whisper over my shoulder “don’t do it”
shaving23spiders: His palms are sweaty, knees weak arms spaghetti there’s vomit on spaghetti already mom’s spaghetti He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti to drop bombs but he keeps on spaghetti
what the box says: serves four
what it means: serves me
friend: there's a life outside the internet
me: link me
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
I'm assuming the London Olympics will have...
Radio: Baby y-
Me: MY BABIES
I bet Liam apologized for him
Liam: oh god, I'm sorry he didn't mean to punch you!
Drunken Harry: yEs I DiD
Liam: no he didn't I'm sorry he's drunk-
Harry: I AM NOT AS DRUNK AS YOU THINKLE PEEP I AM
Liam: yes you are now shut up and go sit in the corner and think about what you've done
Pouty Harry: ok daddy
Me: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: What for?
Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS What do you fucking think for.
me: AND WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE AND WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER
There are now two left. Good luck, Directioners...
louis-and-his-suspenders: lol irl
squiiiije: In Flo-Rida’s song “Low” he states that Shawty is wearing the apple bottom jeans, the boots with the fur AND the Reeboks with the straps, what is she some kind of four legged morph woman? In all honesty I’m not surprised the whole club is looking at her
expectations of holidays: wow i have so much time i'm going to do so much, i'll eat really healthily and go for a long run or a walk and i'll clean my room and the entire house and talk to my neighbors and see my friends every single day then i'll watch a whole TV series and read like 76 books and even study.
reality: *scroll scroll* *right click* *new tab* *reblog* and repeat.