May 2013
insert celebrity name here: i was bullied at school
me playing any new game: i don't need your shitty tutorials
me five seconds later: what the fuck am i doing
teacher: NO DON'T PACK UP WE STILL HAVE .00000007 SECONDS OF CLASS LEFT!
Live the life you would be envious of if you saw someone else living it. This is...
– Olivia Munn (via endlesslyerica)
louweetomlinson:
I don’t want to get over One Direction there I said it
A man is in his house, it’s late at night and there’s a knock at the door… and...
– As told by David Sedaris on the Daily Show, 11/4/10 (via holywine)
How many men does it take to wallpaper a...
deliciafelicia:
fancybidet:
strangeasanjles:
moon-cunt:
mermaid-vision:
notyrqueer:
Just one.
But you have to slice him very, very thin
omg
omg omg
Buahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa MISANDRY.
I snorted
this is the best, grossest feminist joke ever and I love it.
April 2013
thealbinoweave:
do you ever have so much to do that you just decide not to do any of it
senpai-has-noticed-you:
sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by sicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
unfollower:
timoodles:
there is a town called sandwich in massachusetts
there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
i live in Cumming don’t talk to me
the-vashta-nerada:
when my older sister was in high school they had a really strict policy against note passing and if they caught a note they’d read it in front of class so my sister and her friends all learned tolkien elvish so if a teacher ever found their notes they wouldn’t be able to read it
insignificantsilence:
Apparently if someone dies in the exam hall we all get our predicted grades. Who’s willing to take one for the team guys.